Well, maybe not. Actually, I'm feeling pretty dead. ._____. Once again, I've had cramps that feel like all my organs grew spikes and started stabbing each other. I swear, one day I'm just going to die from either the pain, or the overdosing I do on Tylenol. @___@;
To top things off, I'm ITCHY EVERYWHERE! Allergic reaction? I have no idea. I'm not allergic to anything I know of. Something touches me, I get itchy. It started in my eyes, which are dry, scratchy, and FAT FAT FAT, and now it's everywhere.
Ah me. I'm always falling apart.
The good news is, I apparently looked horrible enough that my co worker volunteered to take my double shift today. and that was all before the itchy, swelly eyes. *phew* I think he probably saved my life. I actually started crying when he said I could go home. () I cry so much. *sigh*

VALENTINES DAY! Oh my gosh! M-chan, you think I live in a shoujo manga? I think you're right! Yesterday I got lead through the projection halls without explanation, to be brought over to secluded theater #1, where I was presented with a small stand~ On the stand were two roses, a giant bar of chocolate, a giant box of nerds, and....scotch tape? O_o My Valentine says he doesn't know why he bought the tape, but that "he just thought he should." Well, weirder things have happened. My mom gave me purple duct tape for Christmas once. (Maybe I just seem like an appropriate person to give tape to?) Anyway, it was incredibly sweet, (if not slightly hindered by the fact that my eyesight sucks, and said surprise was presented to me while it was still somewhat out of my range of vision. [I saw a green blur sitting on a black blur. XD] ) and I danced around in a little circle because I felt so gleeful.
Tee hee~ I feel dumb and girly~
On that note... I like this person a lot, and I do stupid manga things for him, and he does stupid manga things back, and we get along well. But I always feel like pulling away if his face gets too close to mine, or if he hugs me a little too close. :\ And sometimes I feel weepy or relieved when we're done hanging out. This makes no sense to me, because I know I have a crush on him, and he's fun to hang out with~ Still, every time it seems as though we might be getting serious, (and by serious, I mean...openly having a crush on? Not even kissing-status. Just 'giving it a shot' status. ARG, I'm dumb and confused!) all I really want to do is run away and hide.
How would I explain to someone that I really like them, but I don't want them to touch me?

Wow, that went from 'yay gleeful Valentines ramblings' to 'woah, time for Dr. Phil'. Gosh, I'm so darned complainy.

Wow, I'm wasting so much time right now on Gaia. There's a Valentine's Day event, and I only have a little bit more to go before I've gotten all the prizes. @___@; I'm a slave to these dumb events, I tell you. And here I feel like @$$, I'm tired, itchy, fat, and I have to get up early tomorrow to pick up the cat from the vet, make that last few onigiri for Maiko-sensei, then go die at work. And I'm still up late. On Gaia. AND LIVEJOURNAL! TALKING FOREVER!! XO

Actually, since I'm still on here, I think it's about time for more HotS progress. I was listening to This song and thought up a really great scene for the story~ It involves Adashino being somewhat careless during another storm~ Ah, I have so many gaps to fill... it make me sad. But one day, it shall be done! Yosh!
For now... I still don't have chapter 4 finished up yet... ._____.;
Though, here's some little blurbs for what to look forward to in the story~ (to prove that I really am working on it, slow but sure)

Chapter 4: "Koi to Karada, Hebi to Hae" In which curiosity is placed above well-being, and a dangerous discussion is held.

Chapter 5: In which a familiar face becomes an object of fear, and neighbors make mistakes.

Chapter 6: In which a new storm blows in, and more risks are taken.

Chapter 7: In which something important is taken back.

Chapter 8: The end.

There now, doesn't that just make you curious? X3 If only I were more of an author (and less of a procrastinator). Le sigh~ One day, one day~

Demo! To make up for the lack of HotS, here's a bit of the Uchisute backstory (untitled so far) I had been thinking of writing~ I'm not sure if I really want to finish this or not. I still can't tell if I like it. ^^() Lacks...something. But maybe it can just be used as a sort of script for a future manga. (I would LOVE to draw this!) Anyway... there's two more paragraphs that I'm not going to post~ One's not done, and the other is a weird place to cut off at (and awkwardly written). But hopefully it'll tide you over till I'm happy with HotS Chap 4.

~~~

It was common, everyone knew, for little skirmishes to break out amongst opposing yakuza. The occasional ‘kidnap and threaten so as to maintain one’s respected position’ was a typical occurrence as well. Uchisute had, on many occasions, both done the kidnapping, and been the kidnapee.
Such acts were essential between gangs, purely for survival reasons. And though the opposing sides of the Kurouto-Kusaru and the Misebirakasu-No-Kakei had formed a tentative truce with one another, it was still necessary to make a point of one’s masculinity, as it were. This was understood as one of the unspoken terms of their truce. So long as no one wound up dead or crippled, bullying was fair game.

Roughly forty minutes had been just shy of enough time to make Uchisute realize that this particular kidnapping was neither a friendly drive to the middle of nowhere, nor a routine, casual threatening. Normally, he would have expected the latter.
Now, though…

~~~

Ichijirou was the head of the Misebirakasu-No-Kakei Yakuza. He inherited his position at the age of thirty-three, after his father was accidentally poisoned by ill-prepared blowfish. The first thing he did once he became “Boss” was repay the chef responsible by forcing him to eat not a piece of blowfish, but the entire creature. In one swallow.
Consequently, the chef choked to death.
After that, there never existed a question of his right to leadership, the “Mise-Kei” –as they called themselves for short- obeyed him loyally (Read: fearfully).

For forty-one years, he maintained his status. Not once did any of his men think to betray him, and not once did any opposing yakuza boss try to challenge him.
This, perhaps, was because Ichijirou initiated the beginnings of the yakuza truces, eventually joining the Misebirakasu-No-Kakei and Kurouto-Kusaru in a tentative alliance.
What sane person would dare go up against a man who could call on the forces of not one gang, but two?

Now, at the age of seventy-four, Ichijirou found it prudent to summon his best men to him and make a grave announcement.

Tadanobu, Hatsudon, and Uchisute, two men and a boy who, through trial and tribulation had proved themselves most fierce and loyal, sat before Ichijirou respectfully. Like a man seeing his sons for the last time, the old boss gazed at each of their faces through clouded eyes.
Finally, with a dignified calm, he said,

“I am dying soon.”

~~~

“Hey. Here comes the special guest.”

Uchisute looked up upon hearing Shinbei’s voice, following the ‘Kuro-Kusa’ member’s gaze off to the distance. Five people came towards them, dust stirring into clouds from their footsteps. Unable to clearly make out the approaching figures, he squinted.
“You can’t really tell from here,” remarked Shinbei, “But that’s the boss himself coming to pay us a visit. Someone like you should feel pretty honored.”
Something in the man’s voice made Uchisute’s flesh crawl, but just the same, he retained his careless attitude.
“That’s ‘Iron Masaru’ then, is it? What’s he doing getting his tabi dirty by coming all the way out here?”

“Hey!” Shinbei snapped, suddenly defensive. “That’s ‘Masaru-sama’ to you, creep, and the boss of the Kurouto-Kusaru Yakuza can get his tabi dirty however he damn well pleases.”

Uchisute tried to seem nonplussed, even as he reached up to wipe a bit of Shinbei’s spit from his face. “Fine then. Don’t piss your pants about it…

Anyway, my question still stands.”

A disturbingly knowing grin slid over Shinbei’s lips, and as if at some inside joke, he and his lackeys chuckled.
“Oh,” Shinbei said softly, “He’ll tell you himself, once he joins us.”



Uchisute felt dread twining itself into a tight knot within him, though he didn’t yet fully understand why.

~~~

Hatsudon hadn’t been able to restrain himself. Upon Ichijirou’s grave statement he had begun sobbing like a four year-old with a skinned knee. He always had been quick to cry, despite that he was built like a brick wall and had killed five men. During times like this, Uchisute always had a difficult time trying not to laugh at him.

“Seriously boss?” This was Tadanobu, still disbelieving and stoic. It was apparent that such news had shaken him, but he wasn’t ready to take it seriously. Likely he wouldn’t take it seriously until the boss dropped dead at his feet. “To say something like that… With respect, I think it’s ridiculous to come to that conclusion just because-“

“Nobu-kun,” Ichijirou said to him, “My joints are swollen and my back is bent. I’m so very old, you know. My age in and of itself is inauspicious, and I think I’m wise enough to know when I’ve counted one year too many.” Despite such heavy words he smiled, a network of scars crinkling up the skin of his right cheek.
Sitting before them, the elderly mob boss accepting so calmly his surrender to age, Uchisute had to admire his dignified demeanor.
He had never seen Ichijirou in his prime, to tell the truth. Of course, older members told stories- But Uchisute was a young man still, only just seventeen, and ‘the boss’ as he was most commonly called, had only ever been an aged fatherly figure. It was like this for all the younger members, but even now Ichijirou was respected and feared.

Uchisute’s thoughts were broken by the boss’ voice.
“I called you three to my side today, because I have a matter I must discuss.”
Hatsudon quieted to listen. He tried too, to halt the flow of tears, but failed miserably.
Ichijirou continued. “I married once, you know. My wife and I, we would have enjoyed raising children, I think. She never got pregnant though… So here I am, an old fart with no son.”
Tadanobu had a small internal struggle with whether he should deny that the boss was ‘an old fart’, or laugh that such a phrase would even be used. In the end, he did nothing, and Ichijirou continued on without notice.
“No son means no heir. No heir means no stability, and where will that leave my Mise-Kei?”
Whether any of his men before him had an answer to that question or not, he didn’t bother to pause and find out. It wasn’t the question that was important anyway, but the decision he had come to regarding it.
“Now. I think of you three as sons, so I know that what I tell you next will be heard and obeyed respectfully…”

~~~

The yakuza boss of the Kurouto-Kusaru bowed in greeting; not too polite, and not too haughty, either. Uchisute mimicked the gesture, but kept his eyes glued warily on the man before him. There was a truce, yes, but given the current circumstances, there was no reason what so ever to abandon caution. Quite the contrary, it was because Iron Masaru had shown up that Uchisute felt every reason to be suspicious.
Masaru himself went straight to the point.
“I hear the great Ichijirou-geezer is about to kick the bucket.”

~~~


And that's it so far~ Egads, I hurt a lot. And I'm way drugged up~ And it's ever so late. Arg. Well then...Sleep time. What I really want is a conversation with someone~ Doesn't even matter who~
Grrr. No. Sleep. Gotta get up early. Sleep. *grumbles, downs mydol, itches eyelids, passes out*